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"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and feelings as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." (Albert Einstein quoted in THE RELATIONSHIP HANDBOOK)

"For two personalities to meet is like mixing two chemical substances: if there is any combination at all, both are transformed." (Carl Jung quoted in THE RELATIONSHIP HANDBOOK)

What Does It Do?

The RELATIONSHIP HANDBOOK provides food for thought and provocative discussion based upon the unique psychological dynamics likely to arise within the relationship between any two individuals. By using the birth charts of two people (or if you wish, a person and an event, like someone and their marriage, etc.) points of harmony and potential conflict are described. This can be applied to partners, parent and child, or co-workers.

A section also follows these descriptions in which the subject of relationship is discussed as a sacred container for growth and learning. This section can hopefully provide a useful reminder when you are involved in some of the more challenging aspects of relating and wondering why you there.

What Does It Contain?

The HANDBOOK contains each person's birth chart and is organized into six sections after its introduction. First, each person is described in terms of their character traits as suggested by the composition of the chart from the four elements (fire, earth, air, water). A very loose parallel between these elements and the four personality functions described by Carl Jung (intuition, sensation, thinking, feeling) is drawn. This generalized description is particularly worth noting where each person's makeup coincides with or differs from the other.

The next section describes each of the most intense connections between you, followed by another section containing the less intense contacts. The following two sections repeat the same material, now organized into a section of the harmonious aspects and a section of the challenges. Finally there is a section about relationship in general, which hopefully inspires and deepens the meaning of any relationship.

An example of the text follows below.

(Technical details for astrologers: Natal Sun, Moon, the 8 planets, the nodes and the angles. Aspects are for conjunctions, sextiles, squares, trines, and oppositions. Most intense means an orb of 1.5°, the remainder within 5°-6°.)

Example of a Handbook Page

Example temperament text:

Jeanne's Temperament

Jeanne is a finisher, somebody who can persist and stick to it, especially in regard to being productive and organized.

Jeanne is predominantly earth - attentive to the information coming through the senses. What matters most to the sensate type is concrete reality. She can focus effectively on practical tasks to be organized and completed. The mundane responsibilities of the relationship may seem the most important - food, shelter, money, or health. Rob does not share in this earthy tendency (he has none in his temperament), and so this side of Jeanne may at times be appealing, and at others be a source of misunderstanding or conflict. Jeanne can help Rob to discover his own undeveloped sense of grounded application and acceptance of the values and limitations of routine daily life.

Rob's Temperament

Rob is predominantly water - feeling and deep sensitivity. He is very impressionable to unconscious and subtle influences. He is likely to have a greater attunement to and respect for the inner world. Empathy and compassion are some of the assets he brings to the relationship. If he is not very aware of his feelings, he may be compulsively moved by fears or desires. Since Rob's secondary tendency is toward the temperament of fire, he may bring a strong emotional quality to his fiery enthusiasm. Intensity and extremism can provide energy for meeting challenges, and Rob may be very sensitive to Jeanne's opinions of him. Without discipline, Rob can tend to mood swings and restlessness. It can be difficult to appreciate others' points of view, though fire/water can be sensitive to the feelings of others.

Rob is weakest in the element of earth (having none at all emphasized in his temperament) and he may have difficulty finding ways to apply his feelings in specific down-to-earth ways. He may not be very motivated to take care of practical issues like food, money, or maintenance of possessions. Life in the material world can seem more like a burden or a trap than an interesting challenge.

Example interpretations:

Barbara's Jupiter Squares Bob's Venus

There is a quality of abundance in your relationship. Expansive feelings and the enjoyment of the more luxuriant aspects of life can be active here. This might occupy too high a priority for you. Too much emphasis could be placed on cooperation, politeness, and putting on a pleasant appearance. This can be limiting, inhibiting a more frank or honest exchange of feelings, and can lead to boredom. There are generous feelings, encouragement and appreciation of each other and, while they are a blessing, these may lead Bob to place too much emphasis on harmony and formality. Remember to find the balance with work, responsibility, effort, patience. Likewise, this relationship could foster a tendency in Barbara to lose track of certain limitations that need to be observed. The question is raised as to whether there can be too much of a good thing. Someone once said "Comfort is the cemetary of the soul." Perhaps that's a bit extreme, but overindulgence can bury the more precious inner soul of this relationship. There could be tendency to overdo, to be extravagant, overly generous, to waste resources. You might also place too much stress on outer appearances or material pursuits. Who can judge what is too much? Perhaps it could be defined as when the desire for possessions or an attractive face or body makes us overlook deeper values or inner qualities like integrity, honesty, love or loyalty.

Joanne's Pluto Conjuncts Jeff's Mercury

The words that go between you and the thoughts that are generated in this relationship are often deep and intense. Joanne in particular may seem to always be trying to get at the root-source, the hidden motive behind every statement or action. This can help Jeff to become more perceptive, as well as more honest. This aspect asks Jeff to speak his truth, to let go of veneer, façade and pretense. There is something about Joanne and her intensity which compels such honesty from Jeff. Conversations may often center on the ultimates of life: death, meaning, transformation, healing. This is an excellent aspect for mutual study of such topics. Jeff is likely to have his ways of thinking powerfully altered by this relationship. At its worst, this means that Joanne is manipulative and controlling, trying to dominate and change Jeff's thinking to match Joanne's willful intent, to brainwash. This could be done either ruthlessly or covertly. At its best, Jeff can reach levels of understanding and self-revelation that may not previously have seemed possible. Much will depend on Joanne's integrity and the degree to which she has been able to uncover and accept her own darker or shadow side of her personality. Jeff can help in this process by being able to understand and perhaps articulate Joanne's hidden tendencies, particularly having to do with domination and control, which come from a lack of trust. (If this seems to be a problem, see if there are more harmonious aspects of Jeff's Mercury or Joanne's Pluto in this report, and look to those for ways to reduce this potential problem.)

Sharon's Moon Squares Jim's Mars

Friction is likely to play an important role in your relationship. Sharon is very sensitive to Jim's masculine, active nature. If Jim is not easily able to be assertive or decisive, then Sharon will be sensitive to this inhibition as well. So a lot depends on how comfortable Jim is about his masculine side of his personality. Sharon may find Jim stimulating and exciting when Jim is aggressive, forceful, or competitive. But Sharon may be over-reactive or feel threatened when Jim is angry, even when Jim may not know he really is angry. In any case, Sharon will probably find her feelings being stirred up or energized by Jim. Sharon is particularly vulnerable and reactive to Jim's aggressive instincts. Quick reactions are easily triggered, and Sharon may find herself on the defensive frequently. It would be helpful to learn how to fight cleanly and not hold grudges, because this aggressive energy needs expression if it is not to become a source of criticism and undermining. Sharon may find this sexually exciting in a romantic relationship, though it also suggests turbulence. Physical or mental activity is a good outlet for tensions that occur. (See if there are more harmonious aspects of Sharon's Moon or Jim's Mars in this report, and look to those for ways to reduce this potential problem.)


Price: $90 plus $6 shipping; $90 pdf file
Shipping: Priority mail
Format: Leatherette covers with wire spiral binding, laser-printed pages (usually 30-50 pages)
Information required: For each person - name, date, time (if possible), and place of birth; gender

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Cosmic Window | Calendar of Archetypal Influences | The Archetypal "I" | Cycles Workbook | Lunar Life Cycle | Relationship Handbook

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